Confidence is not they will like me, confidence is I’ll be fine if they don’t- Christina Grimmie
Social media has driven everyone to be focused on the number of followers we have or “likes” a particular photo or post gets. Ever wonder why there is no “dislike” button on Facebook? That could get ugly in a hurry. I believe I can safely say that no ones life is as perfect as it looks on Facebook or Instagram.
I am a people pleaser, the very thought of someone not liking me does not instill me with confidence; it fills me with dread and a sense of failure.
To be honest I doubt it instills confidence in many of us.
How many of us take it personally if someone un-friends us on social media?
How often have you settled on something you felt strongly about to save a relationship?
Do you want to be liked for being yourself?
We all like being liked.
The bigger question is do you want to be liked for being yourself or other people’s perception of you?
Are you liked because people enjoy being around you? They know you have their back, but are also willing to have that tough conversation. You have character people can trust what you say, even if the message is not always what they want to hear.
Or do people like you because you are passive, you flex with whatever audience you are in front of? You are afraid of the impact of tough conversations, so you tell folks what they want to hear, not considering the impact of your words.
Intentions
The key to being ok with people not liking you is why?
If they don’t like you because you had to deliver some hard news about job performance, an unpopular new policy or they disagreed with the way a situation was handled, then ok.
If you can honestly say the intent of your action was not malicious, then carry on. If they don’t like you for being truthful, then that’s on them.
Of course if you were intentionally being a jerk or manipulative then that’s a different story. You can’t actively look for ways to get people to not like you and then call it confidence; I think that may be called bullying.
They are not all going to like you
Be yourself.
Trust me this is as much for me as anyone.
At the end of the day if your intentions are pure, then the fact they don’t like you has become their issue. That is a pretty empowering place to be.
Confidence is being ok if they don’t like you and courage is the ability to keep moving on knowing that they don’t.
Very nice article, exactly what I was looking for.