“It is better to offer no excuse, than a bad one.”
George Washington
When I was growing up my Dad used to take my sister & I fishing in a river close to our home. The river was not known as the cleanest, but it was a good place to catch some fish and toss them back.
During one of our trips I had grown bored and was squatting near the edge of the river tossing some rocks in when suddenly I felt two hands on my back and plunged headfirst into the river. One of my few childhood memories is a strong hand grabbing me and my Father pulling me to the surface. I spat out the nasty river water and my sister was standing a few feet back from my Dad & I.
My Dad was somewhere between confused and angry when he asked her why she had pushed me into the river.
Her reply is part of our family legend even today.
“I thought he was a leaf”
Why Make Excuses?
Clearly at that point no one actually believed my sister thought I was a leaf. However, in her mind she was trying to think of anything to shift responsibility off her actions.
This is what excuses do. They shift responsibility, in an effort to make someone feel better about their actions or inaction’s.
Excuses are everywhere, and we are all guilty of making them
Types of Excuses
I didn’t know…
There is an old saying, “ignorance is no excuse.” Unfortunately for many folks, it seems to be the only excuse.
I have a teenage son and this seems to be his favorite go to. Particularly when it comes to homework. I wish I could tell you how many times we have heard.
“I didn’t know it was due tomorrow”
“I didn’t know I was supposed to take out the trash”
I didn’t know, is an easy excuse to make and often the entry level excuse for many professional excuse makers.
It is hard to actually prove that someone didn’t know something, unless you have clear evidence to the contrary. It also buys people a second chance, because without accountability, usually an “I don’t know..” is given a free pass and the expectation is often, “Well, now you know and don’t let it happen again.”
I didn’t do it
Probably the most common type of excuse is one where you are trying to find a way out of an action that didn’t go as planned. These usually involve a lie, blaming someone else or both.
If you have grew up with a sibling or have children you probably are familiar with this type of excuse
These are the most brazen excuses, because you are actually blaming someone else for an outcome you created.
I did it but…
Much like the river incident above, this type of excuse is a “sort of” acknowledgement, with a side of rationalizing why you did it. My sister did admit she did it, however rationalized things by claiming that her 8-year-old brother suddenly looked like a leaf and for some reason she thought it would be fun to shove this large leaf into the river.
We may all know people who are like this. Never really fully accepting responsibility for their actions and often trying to take others down along with them.
Excuses are Easy.
Why do all of us like to make excuses?
For starters they are often a lot easier than accepting responsibility. Excuses can buy you time, turn the focus off yourself and place it on others.
In workplaces without accountability excuses are rampant.
Excuses are also an easy way to avoid action. If you say you didn’t know the project was due, you often are able to buy more time.
The more excuses you have on the front end the more time you think you can buy on the back end.
Excuses are easy; responsibility is hard.
The Cost of Excuses.
Have you ever met someone who just cannot take responsibility for their actions? They seem to have an excuse for everything.
What is your typically feeling towards these people?
Excuses are selfish. The only person they typically benefit is the one providing the excuse. They often inappropriately shift blame or attention to someone else. They only delay getting things done and prolong progress.
Most importantly is they damage your integrity. If you are seen as someone who never takes responsibility, you will never be given responsibility.
Excuses are easy, responsibility is hard.