“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”
Steve Jobs
A little over a year and a half ago, my professional trajectory took a major U-turn. Up until then I felt like I was on a good path, had a good team and had my career mapped out.
Then it all changed.
I was thrust from the comfort of the known into the dark wilderness of the unknown. Suddenly a career that I had tied my identity to was gone, the people I had worked with daily were gone, my identity as a leader was gone.
So you’re probably saying this is a blog about gratitude. This sounds pretty depressing.
True, but hang on.
I went through a very hard time, the “dark valley of despair” as they say. However I could not be more thankful for what I went through and what I learned along the way.
I had the unique opportunity to experience one of my greatest fears and seeing that it will be okay.
Be Grateful for Unexpected Change
Change is hard.
Unexpected change doesn’t need to be.
With unexpected change you are spared the months of planning and worst-case scenario contingencies.
When change happens suddenly, you are thrust into action mode. You don’t have time to plan, you have to do. This is both exhilarating and scary.
You have both little to lose and everything to lose. No pressure
It allows you to make bold decisions.
It allows you to face your fears.
It gives you freedom.
Be Grateful for What you Have
I ultimately accepted a full time clinical role. Going back to the front lines also meant less pay, I took an approximately 30% pay decrease.
However, I have never had a job that I found more fulfilling and made me happier.
I found myself looking forward to work.
I found myself fulfilled after work.
I found myself volunteering to pick up extra shifts.
Gone were the days of back to back meetings, the endless barrage of emails, leaving work feeling like despite doing a lot, I really had done nothing.
I also met new people. Made new friends. Found a new “work family”
My days off were actually days off.
My access to work email from my phone had been disabled so I didn’t have an easy way to check my email at all hours.
I went on two summer vacations without even opening my work email! It was great!
Was all this worth a 30% pay decrease? 100%
We are fine.
We never missed a meal.
Our kids are still clothed.
We have been on summer vacations and senior trips.
We just tightened our belts a notch or two and the money was there.
The lesson:
Too often we languish in jobs where we are miserable, because we are fearful of the financial implications of leaving.
Life is too short to be in a job where you are miserable.
Be Grateful for seemingly wrong decisions
In the months prior to my career transition I had the opportunity to interview for a job at a large health system in Philadelphia.
This was my “dream job”.
I felt like I had no shot at the job, but going through the process would be a great learning experience. My family was tentative but supportive.
I ultimately was offered and accepted the job.
It was moving into my son’s senior year of high school so the plan was for me to work in Philadelphia during the week and come home over the weekend, with the ultimate goal to not disrupt his senior year.
I came home from work one day and my wife was in the kitchen cooking supper, my oldest son was downstairs playing the guitar and my youngest was doing homework at the kitchen table. The realization set in that I was going to lose this.
I would be coming home from work to an empty apartment in a strange city. I was disrupting my family, selfishly for a job. It was a gut punch.
I called the team that had hired me the next day and rescinded my acceptance of the job.
A couple weeks later, I lost my job.
Initially, I was kicking myself.
I passed on my dream job and now I lost my current job.
Was this the wrong decision?
I was able to be with my family during my son’s senior year of high school. I was able to attend most of his soccer & basketball games. I was able to go on his senior trip with him to California.
I was able to be with my family
Was what initially felt like a terrible decision, likely the best decision of my life?
Had I taken the job in Philadelphia a lot of this would not have happened.
Had I stayed in my current job, I may have been physically present at these events, but mentally absent, distracted by emails, calls, and putting out fires.
So be grateful for the bad decisions in your life. They actually may end up being some of your best decisions.
Be Grateful for the Future
I recently have had the opportunity to step back into a leadership role.
It was a hard decision.
I have really enjoyed my time taking care of patients, it has fulfilled me like no other job I have had.
I also enjoy the world of leadership and felt like a little piece of me was missing.
I think all that I have been through the past year and half will ultimately make me a better leader.
My time working on the front lines with the healthcare team has opened my eyes in ways that I would never have been afforded if I stayed in my office, going to meetings all day and assuming I had my finger on the pulse of the team doing the real work.
I have had my biggest fear realized. However, I landed on my feet and I was alright. This will make me a more confident leader. I have been to my professional low point and came out alright.
I’ll be alright.
You’ll be alright.
None of us know what the future holds, that should excite us.