“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”
Lou Holtz
It started with a small chip in the windshield, barely noticeable. My wife said I needed to get it fixed. Of course, being the good husband, I am I promptly forgot about it. Until one day my wife called me and said the small chip had become a large crack traveling across the windshield.
This led to us having to replace the windshield, (which I learned they can do in your driveway). This also led to some tense moments in our marriage. To be fair I had watched a couple videos on You Tube about how to repair a windshield.
It Starts Small
A leader starts to fracture much like the windshield. Usually it starts with a small event. Not meeting a quarterly metric, losing a strong employee, a HR issue. No matter the event it provides a chip in the armor. Like a paper cut, sometimes it is the smallest wounds that hurt the most.
A windshield weighs 20-30 pounds, however a small defect in the glass is enough to weaken the entire thing, to where the next impact could shatter it.
Leaders need to be mindful of the small things. This is the sand in the gears that will weaken you over time.
The Compounding Effect
The financial principle of compound interest is typically a good thing. However, in the case of the fractured leader it is not. The progressive negative impact of the problems, crisis, criticism builds up. Like the chip in the windshield, you never really know which pebble is going to be the one that ultimately causes the windshield to shatter.
It could be the smallest problem that ultimately causes things to shatter. It may not be an impending bankruptcy of the company; it could be something as simple as a direct report missing a deadline
Crack.
The Power of Self-Compassion
Often we don’t confront issues as we feel it shows a sign of weakness. This is a completely self-defeating mindset that will quickly lead to a fractured windshield in need of replacement.
Harvard Business Review author Serena Chen has written about the concept of self-compassion. In her article Give yourself a break: The Power of Self Compassion. She describes self-compassion as a very powerful tool to strengthen your own leadership acumen.
According to Chen studies have shown that leaders who practice self-compassion are more authentic and exhibit more compassion. These are two traits that are crucial in driving employee engagement and a positive workplace culture.
Seal the Crack
While I was combing You Tube trying to learn how to repair the windshield, I learned that if the crack is small enough you can seal it with a clear silicone type substance. If done right, you can’t even tell it was ever there.
As leaders it is imperative that we recognize and resolve our small cracks before they compound. Self-Compassion is a way to do this. The less tension you place on yourself the less likely something is to break. Use compassion and authenticity to help seal the smaller cracks before they turn into larger potentially disabling ones.
We Are Imperfect
Remember as a leader we are not perfect. The years have left us dented, chipped and cracked. Remember, these are not badges of honor that we are called to be proud of. These are defects we need to recognize and repair before a more serious problem occurs.
Leadership is hard.
Take it easy on yourself.