“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our victory and freedom”
Victor Frankel
Do you respond or react?
There is a big difference.
Reactions are involuntary. Like placing your hand on a hot stove, you don’t really have a chance to think, you pull your hand away quickly.
A response allows time. Just like when you receive an upsetting text or an email, you have a choice. Do you reflexively fire back a reply, or do you take time to formulate your response?
Often, we forget the option of responding and in turn go straight to reacting.
We often react when we feel threatened.
This sets us up for failure because we are not programmed to respond at our higher intellectual capacity when threatened.
Fight or Flight
It is a very basic physiological response known as the “fight or flight” response. It dates back to the days of our ancestors, when humans were considered tasty snacks for things like sabre tooth tigers and velociraptors.
When encountering a threat, we have a pre-programmed reaction to dig in and fight or turn and run (“fight or flight”). Either one of these choices requires that the higher functioning parts of our brains be short-circuited, and our bodies are flooded with adrenaline to prepare for either choice.
This particular set of circumstances does not make set anyone up for good decision-making.
Threat Level: Midnight
Currently we do not have any threats such as wild animals wandering the streets looking for their next meal.
Our perceived threats now come in the forms of emails, conversation, social media post etc. None of these are threats to our life, but our lower brain can’t differentiate that.
Think about how you feel when you read an email with a snarky tone?
Does your heart start to race a little, mouth dry up, you get tunnel vision, a little sweaty?
That’s the good ole “fight or flight” response.
How many times have you fired off an email or text in that state?
How did that work for you?
Press Pause
Humans are naturally programmed to react to threats. Reacting in real time gets us into a lot of trouble.
If you have children, you have probably seen this play out. One kid is tormenting the other. The one who retaliates is who usually gets in trouble. Like in sports, it is usually the person that throws the second punch who gets caught.
Seth Godin states, “Don’t just do something, stand there.” I think these words are truer now than ever. Folks have more time to devour misinformation, poke & prod at you. They want a reaction.
The worst thing you can do is give them one.
Leave your email address to be notified when new post are out