Socrates is attributed with saying, “An unexamined life is not worth living”, unfortunately I think many people interpret this to mean, “examining other people lives makes mine worth living”.
Admit it. That is why platforms like Facebook are so popular. It gives a glimpse to look into other people’s lives and let’s be honest, judge other people.
If you can remember a time before Facebook, the only place you posted photos was in a physical photo album. Only your closest family or friends had access to these images.
Now the whole world can see what you had for lunch last Friday.
When I was growing up I couldn’t even take a selfie without physically spinning the camera around and then waiting 5-7 days for the film to be developed.
I am sure the person processing the film probably wonder who the goofball was taking the off-center picture of themselves.
Microscopes
I remember my first experience with a microscope and peering down at a prepared slide of a cell. I was amazed at the level of detail that existed which I never had appreciated before.
Think about your life or work. How often do we pull out microscopes to look at other people’s problems or faults? Think of all the drama this creates by intensely scrutinizing someone else’s faults.
However, like a microscope you are only focused on a small area and the circumstances surrounding that problem or fault are often not visible.
Yes, he is a jerk, but what in his life made him feel he needed to act this way?
Yes, she micromanages, but what happened in her career that made her become this way?
We have no idea what is happening at home? We have no idea what they have been through.
You do not have this perspective with the narrow view of a microscope.
Yet we find it easy to judge.
Mirrors
One would think in our selfie obsessed society that turning a mirror on yourself would be welcome.
Not necessarily.
While it is easy to get self-righteous when pointing out the fault of others it is much more uncomfortable to look in the mirror at yourself and realize your own faults and shortcomings.
I look rough in the mornings. What little hair I have left is all over the place, I have creases in odd places on my face, sometimes one eye is not fully open.
Ladies calm down, I am currently happily married.
Just think if I did not look at myself in the mirror before leaving for work. I probably would be escorted out by security or at least directed to the nearest homeless shelter.
Do I like the way I look in the mornings? No
Does this prevent me from looking in the mirror every morning? No (thankfully for those that I work with)
If I need to look at a mirror for my physical behavior I also need to periodically take a look at my behavior and other aspects of my life.
Do I like the way I behave all the time? No
I need to reflect on why I am behaving this way and change it.
The best mirrors are right in front of you
While introspection is beneficial sometimes the best mirrors are those close to you. This can be friends, family or co-workers.
Open dialogue is key. Ask them to give you honest feedback.
However, be prepared, sometimes you are going to hear things you may not like.
It is probably a good idea to make sure you have a good relationship with who you are asking. If you know someone flat out does not like you, I would save yourself the trouble.
Sawdust & Planks
I’m not sure how religious you are, but there is a bible verse that basically says why are so focused on the speck of dust in someone else’s eye that you ignore the 2×4 in your own eye. (Matt. 7:3).
How much drama in our lives could be avoided if instead of breaking out a microscope to examine everyone else’s action we instead pulled out a mirror to take a closer look at ourselves.
I think we all might be a little happier.
“An unexamined life is not worth living.”
Socrates